


Confessing a secret

by I_am_michael_mell



Series: My bmc ones shots that are actually okay [1]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, Boyfriends, Cute, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gay, Hurt/Comfort, LGBTQ Themes, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 01:28:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29752020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_am_michael_mell/pseuds/I_am_michael_mell
Summary: Instead of Michael pining over Jeremy... It's Jeremy pining over Michael.Also Michael listens to Beach Bunny rights :)
Relationships: Jeremy Heere/Michael Mell
Series: My bmc ones shots that are actually okay [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2186682
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	Confessing a secret

**Author's Note:**

> I loved writing this one, I hope you enjoy reading it as well.
> 
> No Squip AU with mentions of expensive headphones although there is none.

Some people would call Jeremy Heere a loner, or the kid that has never had a crush, and rumours go around that he hasn't had a crush or a girlfriend because he is gay, and we all know how quickly rumours spread. So so far this is all that the school knows about Jeremy's life, but for the most part that is not true at all.

Jeremy could be considered a loner, but he has the company of his best friend Michael Mell, who has stuck by his side ever since Jeremy decided to make friends with him in the first grade when Michael moved in from the Philippines. They have been stuck together like glue.

And as for the "gay" aspect of the rumour, that is somewhat true. You see, Jeremy figured out that he was bisexual around two months ago, when he started to see Michael differently. He would notice the way his fluffy, chocolate brown hair would sit just right or how his skin would glow in the sunlight. He would notice the way his eyes would sparkle and he would get a slight blush on his cheeks every time he was exited. And just the way that Michael was so incredibly kind and he would most definitely die for his best friend.

Anyway....

Jeremy has been stuck with the fact that he is in love with his best friend. And has been hesitant to tell the boy. They have been best friends for 12 years, and he wouldn't want to ruin that because of his stupid little crush. He is too anxious for that anyway. He thought that maybe the feeling would just pass away, because everyone thinks that they like their best friend at some point, right?

But the crush just seemed to grow and grow until it was almost unbearable, and when Jeremy walked down the hall this particular Friday wearing something different for a change and he saw the look on his best friends eyes as he found him in the hall, Jeremy realised this wasn't some stupid little crush.

"Jeremy!!" Michael's sweet voice ran across the hallway smoothly, you would be able to hear him from the other side of the school if you were paying attention, but most people have known these two since primary school, so there was nothing new there. Jeremy couldn't help but smile at his best friend, who's eyes were sparkling like was mentioned before.

Michael picks up his pace as he makes his way over to Jeremy, pulling him into a tight and quick hug that Jeremy just wished that went on for longer. They did their signature handshake and Michael took a sip from his slushie.

"Hey Micha." Jeremy said to the boy, taking a moment to glance at his face and his perfect features, there was absolutely nothing wrong with him in Jeremy's eyes.

"-eremy? Jeremyyyyy~!" Jeremy shook his head lightly as he snapped out of his trance to see Michael's slightly concerned expression and his voiced laced with worry, he always loved how much Michael cared.

Michael placed a hand on the brunette's shoulder. "Are you alright bud?" He asked carefully, looking over Jeremy's face to see any trace of sickness or anxiety. Jeremy shook his head and smiled contently.

"No no I'm fine, sorry. Must have zoned out." Michael immediently relaxed as he knew the boy had a tendency to zone out due to his anxiety and lack of attention span, although his tone had a hint of anxiousness in it.

"Are you sure? You've seemed pretty off these last few weeks..." Michael says, looking at him sympathetically. Jeremy resists the urge to frown at the fact that Michael is starting to see through him and he just results to internally dying instead. He will have to tell Michael soon enough, and he is dreading it.

"Yeah, I'm fine Mikey." Jeremy says with his best confidence, although it fails.

"Well alright, but if anything happens- if you ever need to talk to me I've always got your back." He says with a small smile, pulling his headphones down to his neck, he fluffy hair sitting in just the right place as usual, Jeremy tries desperately not to zone out on him again.

"I know." Jeremy nods. "Now what were you saying before?" He asks, shifting conversation quickly.

"I was just saying that I love the new fit dude! Hella retro, 'M loving it bro." He says and offers Jeremy a high five, he accepts it. Michael knows that Jeremy is insecure about what people think about him and him wearing a different style outfit is a massive change and Michael is extremely proud of him.

"Thanks man." Jeremy says, fixing his bag straps slightly. "So.. How's Rich? You got the boy yet?" Jeremy says with a smile that he has to force upon him slightly, the thought of Michael getting a boyfriend should make him happy, but it makes him kind of jealous, and the feeling of loneliness washes over him yet again.

"Dude..." Michael says with a nervous chuckle, his face starting to flush up. For the longest time Michael has had a crush on Rich, a boy who has never even noticed him before. They have had small interactions here and there, that meaning that once Michael accidentally bumped into him one day at lunch and apologised and Rich smiled and said it's fine, that is the only interaction they have ever had. Jeremy smiled at Michael's blush, obviously thinking it was because he mentioned Michael's crush. But in Michael's eyes that was his former crush.

"Rich.. he uh- I heard last week that he got with Jake. I mean it's pretty obvious. Good for him but like~" Michael stumbled over the words. You see, you could also take the stuttering as Michael being sad for Rich getting a boyfriend but it was actually Michael's nerves kicking in, he felt uncomfortable to talk about his now former crush. The thing is, when he found out that Rich was with Jake, he started to get an eye for someone else. And it might just be a certain best friend that has an eye on him as well.

It was actually a couple weeks ago, when Michael realised it, so it made him start to lose his crush on Rich anyway, he remembers the night vividly. He had a dream about it, he woke up in a cold sweat after realising that he had repressed feelings for his best friend, it shocked him so much that he woke up gasping for breath, his mother rushing into his room to see if he was alright as she heard him wake. He loved talking to his mothers, the fact that they both gave him great advice and supported him throughout everything was enough to let him talk to her. Of course she supported him, and said that Jeremy probably could tell he liked him.

But Jeremy is oblivious, he would never think of Michael liking him.

"Oh.." Jeremy says with a small frown, although a wave of relief washes over him. Which he feels incredibly bad for feeling that way, although the most part of him does genuinely feel bad for his best friend.

"Shit bro I'm so sorry- I knew you liked him a lot and I- just, wow man. I'm so sorry. I hope you're alright." Jeremy says in an attempt to reassure his obviously saddened best friend, although for not the reasons that he is thinking. He places a hand on the shorter boys shoulder in another attempt to make sure he's alright.

"It's fine Jere, I'll be fine. Just.. I guess I gotta find someone else to pine over am I right?" He says with a small giggle that has a hint of uncomfortableness behind it, making Jeremy afraid that he has failed his attempts to calm him. He pulls up his bag straps and looks over at Michael, both boys having to shift to the side to let a group of kids file past them.

There is a small wave of awkward silence, which never happens between these two, they usually always have something to talk about, and neither of them know the reason why this happens now. But it's obviously because the two boys are pining over each other but are too scared to confess.

"I'm sorry dude. It'll be alright." Jeremy says, breaking the silence with a small smile, taking his hand away from the Filipino boy in front of him.

"You still on for tonight?" Jeremy changes conversation and it causes Michael to grin. Ever since the boys have been allowed to, which was in middle school, they have been having sleepovers every Friday night, it's become a ritual. And unless one of them is seriously sick or away on holiday, which rarely happens, is when their plans break. They get just as exited for every sleepover as if it is their first one.

"Heck yeah dude. I got a 7/11 gift card from my grandma for my birthday last week, what an amazing time to spend it on snacks for an epic sleepover with my favourite person!" He says with a giggle and Jeremy can't help but laugh along with him, both boys glad that the awkwardness was over for a least a short while.

~Time skip bought to you by the insanely cool Jared Kleinman. (Why you ask? I don't know)~

After the school day ends Michael meets his best friend at the corner by the grass at the end of the school, their usual meeting spot. And they start their walk to the 7/11 just across from Michael's neighbourhood. It takes 20 minutes to walk to the store then another 15 to Michael's place but the boys don't mind, they love walking and just spending time with one another.  
Two minutes down the road Michael pulls out his phone, an obvious smirk filling his face. Jeremy groans slightly.

"What are you doing Micha-" he says in a sort of whine, looking over at the boy and not being able to stop smiling. He knows that Michael is up to no good. Before you know it Michael is unplugging his headphones from his phone and pressing play on a song, turning it up. The opening tune to "April" starts playing out loud and Michael is bopping his head to the beat. Jeremy smiles at the familiar music.

"I didn't know you listened to Beach Bunny." Jeremy said with a smirk, knowing Michael's usual love for 80s bands and Reggae, but he also knew his hidden love for more modern, indie rock music. It was adorable how he would get all defensive when he says that he doesn't like indie music, but Jeremy knows that he adores it.

"Well... you said I should listen to them. So I took up your offer." He says, avoiding eye contact because he knew that if he looked at Jeremy he would get teased, though that didn't stop him from singing along.

Sometimes I just want somebody.  
Someone who reminds me that they'll always love me.  
Sick of counting tears.  
Wishing you were here.  
I wanna be everything you wanted.  
But often, times I just get forgotten.

Michael sung quietly along to the lyrics, Jeremy smiling softly as they walk, leaving silence between them so he could hear his beautiful voice. Michael had always been insecure about his singing, and only really let it show around Jeremy, and Christine when she forced him to sing one day.

She was amazed.

Jeremy starts to quietly harmonise with Michael.

Are you out there, somewhere?  
What are you up to?  
Have you changed your number?  
I've been trying to call you.

Michael hears Jeremys harmonising and he blushes slightly, turning to Jeremy and realising this is why he has fallen for him, he's just so amazing.. there are so many things that are just truely perfect about his best friend. He shakes the thoughts away as he turns back and keeps singing.

Since April and now it's October  
I'm not overthinking but I think about you a lot  
And lately I am just an afterthought  
Where did you go?  
Where did you go?

The songs ends and the two boys burst into a fit of giggles. "Jeremy! That was amazing!!" Michael says enthusiastically and Jeremy nods in agreement.

"It really was."

The boys continue this act of playing random songs and singing together till they reach the 7/11 to pick up some snacks and slushies. They both start the next part of their walk over to Michael's, who can't help but grab a packet of chips that they bought and open it, eating some as they walk.

"Hmm. What are your thoughts on making a fort in the basement tonight?" Michael says, raising an eyebrow as he turns his head towards Jeremy, popping a chip into his mouth.  
"Dude heck yeah! We haven't made a fort since we were like-"

"12!" Michael and Jeremy say the word at the same time and they both stare at each other in amazement, before bursting out laughing again, Jeremy nudges Michael lightly on the shoulder and steals a chip out of the bag, glancing ahead.

"How have we not made a fort for that long-" Jeremy says with obvious disappointment. "You are never to old for that kinda shit." He says with a nod, raising his hand to the side to touch the leaves of a bush that they walk past.

"Yeah, dude that's weird." Michael says, dragging out the last word with a small chuckle. "We must start doing that more often again."

"Definitely." Jeremy says with a smile as they reach Michael's house, Michael grabs his personal house key from his bag and unlocks the door and they walk inside, taking their shoes off at the front door. Michael's calico cat, Pac-Man comes skipping to the front door to greet the boys.

"Yo Pac-Man! My dude!" Jeremy picks up the cat and he purrs and snuggles up in Jeremys arms, the two continue their walk to the basement.

"I still can't believe you named my own cat Pac-Man." Michael says.

"You agreed on it!!" Jeremy protests, they get down to the basement and chuck their bags down in the corner, Michael moves the couch back so they can create their fort, he proceeds to grab all the blankets and pillows in the entire house to use for their creation. All the while Jeremy sits there and snuggles the cat.

"Are you gonna help me or are you just gonna sit there with the cat?" Michael says jokingly and Jeremy snickers and sits up.

~Time skip bought to you by the amazing fort that the boyfs are gonna make~

A few hours later the boys are sitting in their fort, made perfectly by Michael himself, who has a knack for making forts. The room is dark and the only light to be seen is from the tv that is playing the game that the two are playing (which happens to be minecraft because yes) and the fairy lights that Michael has taken from his bedroom to light up the inside of the fort. Pillows and more blankets are scattered around the inside along with the snacks and the pizza that they got a while ago. Pac-Man is fast asleep in the corner.

"FUCK." Jeremy practically screeches, causing Michael to jump.

"What the fuck dude?"

"DID YOU NOT SEE THAT, I GOT KILLED BY A FUCKING SPIDER." Jeremy gets a little angy playing Minecraft.

"A spider." Michael scoffs, starting to laugh out loud.

"Yes a spider, shut the fuck up." Jeremy says with a glare to his best friend, before giggling himself. Michael presses pause on the game and shifts to face the brunette.

"I think you need a break, wanna light a joint?" Michael suggests causally, like he does this regularly, which he does.

"But your parents-"

"-Aren't home. They are on night shift tonight, won't be home till morning." Michael finishes Jeremys sentence for him, Michael gets up, carefully moving out of the fort, Jeremy hears a draw open and some shuffling, he sighs quietly. At least he won't have to be stuck with the realisation of having to be careful around Michael, since he likes him and all. He can just- let go from the nagging thoughts for once.

Michael comes back into the fort, almost knocking it over in the process because he is exited, causing Jeremy to snort which makes both boys crack up laughing, and god they aren't even high yet. They also wake the cat up in the process, but they don't notice that because they are too busy laughing. Michael sits back down on a pillow and lights up the joint, taking a long hit and then passing it to Jeremy who does the same.

~Yet another time skip~

After about half an hour and a bit of smoking later, the boys are satisfied. They aren't super high, but they are high enough to make them pretty filterless, which will bring them both in for a fun night.

"So." Michael says, clapping his hands together, clicking his tongue and crossing his legs on the pillow that he is sitting on. Jeremy looks at him with interest, it seems like Michael is either going to tell a story, or he is going to ask some kind of question.

"Let's talk about guys, or girls for your sake." Michael says with a eye roll, he tends to get weird and joking like that when he is somewhat stoned.

Jeremy doesn't notice the sarcasm, and he represses a giggle, but it fails because he laughs anyway. "Alrighty then. What's on the agenda buddy? Who are you gonna like now that Rich is taken?" Jeremy says with more interest than intended, because he really is wondering who Michael likes, because in his head it still obviously can't be him. But when Michael doesn't respond, a light blush dusted on the Filipinos cheeks and nose, Jeremy decides to say something instead, but of course he wasn't thinking when he said it.

"I think James is pretty damn hot." Jeremy blurts out without thinking, he stops when Michael stops to look at him suspiciously, raising an eyebrow as his face brightens up. James is a new boy at the school. Jeremy's face immediately flushes a deep, hot red and he can feel it. He chuckles nervously and looks over at Michael, when Michael doesn't respond and just looks at him, Jeremy results in speaking again, the only thing he can think of doing.

"I uh- it's not-" Before he can think of more to say Michael finally cuts in.

"Are you saying that you like boys, Jeremy?" Michael says sweetly and suspiciously, looking at him with a face that says 'I knew it, I got you bud.' Jeremy stutters out a whole heap of nothing before his breathing starts to pick up, the early signs of a panic attack showing, and Michael can see that. Jeremy pulls his knees up to his chest and rests his chin on his knees, closing his eyes in an attempt to calm himself down and regulate his breathing. It stays like this for a few minutes.

"Jeremy?" Michael says quietly, catching the attention of the anxiety ridden boy, his head snaps up and he looks at Michael, he looks like he is about to cry.

"Touch?" this one word from Michael is a symbol that both boys use when the other is close to or is going through an anxiety or panic attack, they have been friends for so long that they know how to care for each others anxiety. Jeremy shakes his head and Michael nods slowly.

"That's alright buddy, just look at me okay. Keep your eyes on me." Michael says calmly, smiling in reassurance when Jeremy leads his eyes to land on Michael's.

"Just breathe bud, 4, 7, 8. Mkay, it's gonna be alright." Michael says quietly and leads Jeremy in the exercise, calming down the boy quickly just by looking at his best friends face. Before you could say anything Jeremy is moving closer to Michael and wrapping his arms tightly around the shorter boy, Michael doesn't hesitate to hug him back gently, Jeremy's hands gripping Michael's hoodie from behind and Michael holding the boy.

"You know I would never hate you for that Jeremy, don't you? I'm literally the gayest man alive, and I don't give a damn if you are gay, straight, bi, pan, or even trans, I'm still gonna be your best friend, and I am still always going to be here for you, alright? Always." Michael says, his smooth and soft voice the only thing you can hear in the room as the two boys hug. Both of them thinking at the exact same time that maybe they do have a chance with each other, but they don't know that they other is thinking the same thing.

"Thank you so much Micha. And, I think I'm bi." Jeremy says as he pulls away and goes back to sitting on the pillow, feeling more comfortable and happy with this topic of conversation. He takes a deep breath and looks back up at Michael, who is still smiling, causing him to smile.

"That's great Jeremy, I'm proud you have discovered yourself." He says and Jeremy nods, thinking about the next thing he wants to say, he knows it is a massive risk to think about admitting his crush on his best friend, it could ruin everything. But 1: It would make him feel so much better then having to live with the pain that he gets from lying about it for so long now and 2: He is high so this is kind of an impulse decision.

"I have- actually had my eye on someone for a while. But it is not James." He says which causes Michael to take a lot of interest in the conversation, of course he would always be happy for who Jeremy likes and who he gets with, but he would always hope it would be him. Michael takes this big risk and says what he wants to say as well.

"So do I." He says quietly and Jeremy perks up as well.

"Dude really?!"

"Yep."

Both boys nod.

"Tell me." They both say at the same time and start laughing, after 5 solid minutes of laughing later Michael speaks.

"I will tell you mine if you tell me yours, we can flip a coin." Michael fishes a coin out of his pocket and looks at Jeremy with a raised eyebrow. "Heads or Tails?" Michael asks the big question.

"Heads, always wins. Loser has to go first."

"Alright." Michael takes a deep breath and flips the coin, it lands on tails. Jeremy huffs. "YES." Michael pumps his fist in the air.

"Okay.. well I-" Jeremy takes a breath and makes the most important decision of his life at the moment, to actually admit that he likes his best friend. "I maybe find you- kinda sorta hot and I would most definitely, uh- maybe want to date you..."

Michael's face goes from interested, to shocked, and then finally surprised, before a shit eating grin appears on his face. "Jeremy-" He says, seemingly out of breath, his heart hammering in his chest and his insides exploding with joy.

"Michael?" Jeremy can't seem to process his excitement.

"Oh my god Jeremy! Don't even say anything- Yes yes I like you too!!" He says and jumps into the boys arms, knocking him to the ground and before Jeremy can tell Michael is sobbing into his shirt.

"Wait Michael really-?!" Jeremy says and Michael pulls away and holds Jeremy's face in his hands.

"Yes!!" He says and presses his forehead against his before pressing their lips together.

Jeremy doesn't even think for a second before melting completely into the kiss. his hands reach Michael's waist and the latter's hands are tangled in Jeremy's hair. The moment full of passion and bliss. Both boys realising that they were meant for each other in this way for so long...


End file.
